dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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