I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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