i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
