i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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