Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
whose parrot is this?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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