Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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