what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Four minutes until I can fart!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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