did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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