You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jerry, you need to find god
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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