omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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