What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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