Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
