I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
