I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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