I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
