First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My penis needs a shock collar
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
