please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
