i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize