Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
