You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
