can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
