went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
