Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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