I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
