Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
