Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
