It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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