You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need a beard to bite.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
