I want to have your abortion
I can tuck mytits in my pants
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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