Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
