Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize