I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
