I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
