god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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