he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize