@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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