I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
