How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize