well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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