Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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