okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
