I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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