I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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