Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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