I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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