well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
