ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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