called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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