if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
