I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
