I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
