I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
