I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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