I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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