Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
