And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
